the rest of my life will be the best of my life

Going back to my college cross country team made me think back on those days.  I wonder what my life had become if I knew some of the things then that I know now.  If I had the confidence, the insight that I have learned over the years.  But then I have to remember the people I have met on this road, that I would not have met if I had made different choices.  I might not have met the amazing people at College Hill UMC who taught me about love and the value of being with others.  Brook who I met at my first social work job who taught me to chill and have fun.  She always believed in me.  Friends Amy, Becky, Jennifer, Mary--all from Wichita.  They are still great friends, especially Jennifer and Mary who also live in KC now.  I have my church and the amazing trips to Mozambique--the trips that changed my whole life. My awesome girlfriends, Becca, Shari, Sarah and Joy.  I might not have joined the JM fan club and met people all over the country and seen concerts every where.   And Tim and his family, who showed me what family love is all about. 


So, I just have to think I was who I was and did the best I could with what I had at the time.  So I go forward and make the rest of my life the best of my life. 


Today I tried my new thinking of taking care of the small stuff every day.  My documentation is caught up at work, I ate what I took for lunch, at dinner at home, went on a walk/job with the dog, picked up stuff, and now am spending some time reflecting on life. 

balance

I went to my college coach's retirement last night.  Such a fun evening seeing old running mates and remembering the days of running cross country and track.  Coach Helmer talked as well and was inspiring as ever. 
It reminded me of such valuable lessons learned back then.  One that stands out to me the most is balance in life.  He didn't want us to just focus on running.  We needed to be successful in the classroom and have time with friends and family.  He also taught us that not every practice is race day, not every race is the Olympics, and an Olympic race is not judgement day.  We certainly had days when we practiced hard.  But those would be followed by days of running an easy pace to recover.  He said if we didn't we would end up injured. 


That same principal can be taken into anything in life.  Day in and day out of constantly driving yourself at work or at home will take it's toll eventually.  Rest days are needed too.  To rest our emotional and spiritual muscles.  We need to be able to just be, and enjoy the run, the company and friendship of those around us. 

you don't have to start over if you never give up

It's nearing the end of 2013 and my year of ending all my activities that were spending my time and getting me nowhere.  I've done pretty well and now want to start building back the things that are good for me and getting me to a better place. 

One thing is I miss running.  I've been out of it long enough that I don't feel competitive any more.  I'd just like to participate and be out there.  I've gotten into terrible shape again.  But this week I'm going to start running.  It's ok to even walk a little so I'm mixing it up with running two minutes and walking three.  I can do that fairly easily. 

So I'm just picking up where I left off in July from my tri.  I'd do that again too.  Maybe do some cross training but one step at a time.  2 minutes on, 3 minutes off.   And I'm going to finish this week on schedule.

I made it

I accomplished the three goals I set for myself with this triathlon---finish, don't die, don't finish last.  I can honestly say I did all those things, and did better in parts of the race than I thought I might.  Here's the recap:
Swimming---I wasn't sure how well I would do with this.  A lot of triathletes are not strong swimmers.  I'm not either but I have swam with a masters group before so I know how to do it well.  And, I was doing well until my swim cap came off and took the goggles with it.  In the middle of the lake no less.  grrr.  I got both back on and then caught up to the people who had passed me.  So, even though it was frustrating to have to stop, I was happy with the fact that I was able to catch up again.  Imagine how I would do if I didn't stop! 
Biking---riding a bike is easy.  I've been doing it since I was 6 years old.  Biking on those hills is not easy.  I didn't do as well at this as I thought I might.  :/   I did set a goal while riding that I was not going to get off the bike and walk up the worst of the hills.  So, kudos for that but I gotta work on that for the next race!
Running----I figured this would be my worst event.  Ironic since I used to be a pretty good runner.  I decided to run as long as I could, then walk if needed.  I also walked up hills.  After a mile or so I caught my second wind.  I actually felt good and that I could keep on running!  I ran a lot more of this than I thought I would and I feel pretty good about that. 

So, I crossed a big barrier, just being able to finish.  I looked at the race results and the people in front of me aren't going any faster than I am capable of.  I will be back and will be stronger the next time! 

10 days and then onward!

This triathlon is happening in 10 days.  I have continued to train but not like I had wanted to.  There is a part of me that thinks, "am I going to be able to finish this?"  I haven't swam in open water in 12?, 13?...many years.  I have ridden my bike around the park and was really glad I did.  There are a LOT of hills!  I still can't ran 3 miles non-stop but that's ok, walking is allowed.  So, I'm telling myself I'm just gonna go for it. 

A few weeks ago I was out walking/jogging with my dog, very early in the morning before work.  I was thinking about life and trying to get into shape for this race and the Bible verse below came into my head:
"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us."
Now, I'm pretty sure the writer of Hebrews did not write this with the intent of saying of "hey you in 2013, get those workouts in!"  But perhaps he understood the bigger picture of the human condition, where we lose sight of ourselves and what God wants for our lives.  We get lost in the details and frustrations now just like they did then. 
This triathlon is more than just "hey, I want to do a triathlon" but more about trying to take better care of myself and my aging body.  And, about getting focused on what is important in my life and laying aside the "weights" that keep me from those things.  The next 10 days will come and go, as will the race.  I will still need to keep moving forward, with patience, toward the bigger goal. 

time to just do it

"Everything you need is already inside. Just do it."

-Bill Bowerman, former Oregon track coach and Nike co-founder

11 weeks to go!  I took most of this week off while dealing with my house, but will get started back up again this week.  I found a training program on-line that has given me a weekly plan to follow.  I don't follow it 100% but I can tell I'm getting stronger.  It's a slow process of getting back into a routine of exercising and out of the routine of signing up for a zillion other activities that keep me from it.  Bad habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to make but I'm slowly making the turn. 

I saw this quote on the FB page of a friend and it spoke to me.  I already have all the tools I need.  I just gotta do it. 

be true to thyself

I have a friend who is working towards running a marathon in June and trying to live a healthier lifestyle in general.  He and his trainer were featured on the local news the other night and I watched the segment.  His trainer mentioned how one of the keys to success is internal motivation and a willingness to put himself first.  That really struck me and made me think about am I putting my health first?  It seems like something always gets in the way of a work out, even though I'm also trying to do better.  I try to eat better at work but get busy and stressed out and it's easier to eat junk. 

These last two weeks I've put clothes in my car so there's no exuse not to stop at the gym after work.  I'm trying to get back on the cash system for eating out so I don't spend too much eating at work in the cafeteria. 

But, some other changes are going to start happening too, like all the extra-curricular things I get involved in.  I obviously have to work, but I need to put 30 minutes per day into myself and staying physically healthy.  Everything else needs to come second.  I realize that all these secondary things are sucking the life out of me.  I just don't have the energy or stamina I did in the past to run from one activity to another.  It probably wasn't emotionally healthy for me then, and it certainly is not now. 

2013 is going to be the year for me to pare down my life to the things that put me first.  Because like Chris's trainer said, you want to be around to be in the lives of the people you love, which means taking care of yourself first.  That's the toughest thing to do.